We Must Unite, And Boycott Toilet Paper!

The US Governments exposure for illegally collecting information is a decoy ploy so citizens worldwide don’t notice another heinous dastardly deed taking place.

A couple years ago, maybe three or four, I noticed a new advert on the rolls of toilet paper. “Big Roll” or “Mega Roll”. Here you see “Ultra Roll”.

tp

All my life, a roll of toilet paper has been big enough to fit between the roller on the toilet paper holder, so when I saw these declarations, I thought they had found a way to fit more sheets per roll, or were cutting the little squares a little smaller, because the rolls were the same size as always. And I though it was odd that there was no “normal size” roll.

The other day, for the first time since the Ultra, Mega and Giant labels appeared, The Wife came home with “Normal” size roll. It’s half a frikkin roll of toilet paper!

Now, it becomes clear that the Ultra Mega Giant was a ploy to make us think that since the beginning of toilet paper history, we’ve been getting a roll and a half on each roll and now, the toilet paper companies are setting things straight. That’s what the TP companies would like us to believe.

It’s a ripoff, and we must fight back by boycotting Toilet Paper! I know that isn’t possible, but at least boycott the companies that are involved in this horrendous vile scheme.

Seriously, think about it. Toilet paper companies can charge whatever they want, because TP is a necessary product that you can’t live without. And seriously, one company at least has halved the size of the product, doubling the cost without a price increase. And if one company gets away with it, soon all the other companies will follow suit.

I predict that this will be a case where the people will be sheep and pay whatever the cost, complaining all the time. I can’t do anything by myself, but I will never again by the product pictured above, who I think is starting this ripoff.

Aliens, Seamonsters and Anomalies

Yesterday on the beach I made found a weird footprint. It looks to me like an eight toed seamonster, or maybe a space alien.

In other news, the Wife is tired of me beating her up every day, and therefore tomorrow she says she is getting up at 5:20 AM, so she will be beating me up. My alarm goes off at 5:55 AM.

As most of you know, we have, allegedly, two dogs. However, I am beginning to think we have more than two. Yesterday, I was in the living room, and there was a big yellow dog laying in the middle of the floor. Of course she was laying in the most obtrusive, inconvenient spot. After carefully and with great difficulty, climbing over aforementioned large dog. I walked into the bedroom, where I found an identical dog, laying in the middle of the bedroom floor, also in the most obtrusive, inconvenient spot. Take my word for it that I wasn’t paying attention when she moved it couldn’t have been the same dog. Similar anomalies have occurred with the black dog. Scientific investigation to follow.

That’s it for your Tuesday Stupid News.