First internet availibility

Today will be my first chance to connect to the internet since I arrived
here in Costa Rica. these are the posts I’ve been typing on my phone.

Morning is here! I’m typing this on my cell phone. We traveled all day
yesterday. Got here last night. The OI Girls Parents live up in the
mountains overlooking a city that starts with an “A” nearer to the
airport than San Jose. Last night was beautiful, the way the city
lights shimmer.

I got up at 5 and went out and tried to get some decent pics but I
don’t know if they came out.
Also, the stars are way up high and I’ve already seen stars I’ve never
seen before! (I’ve been south but wasn’t interested in the sky then)
I’ll see if I can send this now!
****
Nope can’t connect. This will sit in my outbox till I can. Its 18Feb06 615AM
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19 Feb 06 today we came to the beach. It was a real adventure. Two
four wheel drives, through rough roads, streams and gravel paths. The
last half was off road. I am about 10 miles north of cabo blanco. It
took about 4 hours to get here from Alajuela. the beach is very remote.
Yesterday we visited relatives and went to a museum type place called
Inbioparque.

20Feb06 last night i got text messages from my dogsitter. Ditto bit
her dog. This morning my neighbor is going to pick Ditto up.
Here I have very intermittent phone coverage. My ready light flashes
red red green green green red green red red red…..

21Feb06 3:49AM
I’m awake. Went to bed early. Awake early. Yesterday we tried to get
to Cabo Blanco but didn’t get all the way because it is a park that
was closed Mon & Tue. We went to Montezuma and had lunch there. It is
a great backpacker town and good beaches and very blue water. After
lunch we hiked back to this waterfall and had a swim. That water was
cold, no one would argue. Then we came back and saw the sun set from
the sea. Then had a light dinner of sashimi and vegetables.
OI Girls stepfather, is going back today. I think we are planning on
going back to Alajuela Thursday

22Feb06 4:58 PM
this morning we came back from the beach. it was great! we took a
ferry across instead of the bridge (donated by the Taiwanese govt)
Then we just hung out at her parents house, played with the dogs and
watched some TV. Also every meal has been fantastic.

23 Feb 06 4:33 am
I anticipate internet access today. We’re going into town and doing
some shopping. Sorry I haven’t been posting more. I am having a great
time but miss reading everybodys blogs.
I am typing this on my phone, then I’ll transfer it to my computer,
then hopefully email it.
I hope everyone is doing well.

One day and a wake-up

I’m sittimg on the front porch typing this. This is what most of my posts
will look like while I’m gone, That’s IF my phone works in Costa Rica. I
just got done mopping and the floor is all wet. Today will be a very busy
day. First, I have a lot to do at work. Then I have to go to the bank, buy
OI Girls birthday present, buy dogfood for when the dog goes to the
sitters. (they have a little girl dog and I’m afraid my dog’ll like it
better there than here). After work I gave to go to the airport and pick up
the OI Girl. Also I hope to remember everything I’ve forgotten before I
leave. I stayed up past midnight last night and got up a little after 5.
I’ll be tired later I bet..
I feel like I’m in a hurry!
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***

Fear

Another normal, nothing-expected day. It’s still cloudy but not so cold. Tomorrow night the IO Girl arrives from the Other Island, and Friday morning we fly out. I’m going to try to keep posting from my cell phone if I can. I tried posting as an experiment and it works, it makes weird spacing and I can’t control the colors and the picture I had attached didn’t come through, but the message did post.

I woke up feeling weird. I had a dream I can’t remember. Imagine you were born blind and you had no concept that such a sense existed. And nobody ever told you you were blind, and to you everything seemed ok. Then one day you suddenly get an inkling that something might exist that you know nothing about. That’s kind of how I feel. I sense this huge deficiency that I can’t see, or a big unused part of my life (unused part of my brain?). I feel like I’m trying to grasp something that’s right in front of my face that I can’t see. If I could see it, maybe it would be easy to understand, but seeing it is the hard part.

When I go on vacation, I have a fear that while I am gone, it will be decided that I am not needed, and I won’t have a job any more. Why do I feel this way? When I try to look inside at this, it is like I can’t see. I know I have a contract, I know I’ve done the job for the last 9 years, and if they wanted to get rid of me, there have been unlimited opportunities. On one hand I feel secure, but on the other, I don’t. When I try to see why, I get this huge weird blank feeling. I feel like if I could see, it would solve a lot of my (non-existent) problems.

Sometimes I go to work and feel like I’m going to get fired any minute, and sometimes I feel confident and needed and that I do a good job. The job isn’t what changes day-to-day, it’s me.

I cannot explain it. Sometimes I get fear, non-specific, unfounded, fear. The dream was related to that. Or maybe the dream causes it. The vacation fear is an example, but I there are others, like relationships, for example. If I could grasp the cause, I imagine I would be a much better person. And I don’t think it’s a whole bunch of fears, I think it’s one thing that from time to time, touches every aspect of my life.

I rekkon you’ve already called the boys in the white coats to come and throw me in the psycho ward, so I’m going to quit writing now and get outta here!

HVD!

I went to the beach for a walk yesterday. I found an excellent baby conch shell. Palm sized and brightly colored. It is a rare gem. Here, big shells are kind of hard to come by, you can find small ones all day. You can find big conchs, but that’s about all. I think the descriptive word might be “cute” but that word isn’t in my vocabulary.
Also, I took this pic of an assortment of boats. Take your pick, I don’t know if I’d choose the yacht or the sailboat. Maybe the dinghy, It’s probably the only one I can afford to operate. Not the pirate ship. The yacht has a helicopter. Maybe the barge next to the pirate ship would be best for me. I could build a little beach hut on it and live there.
It got cold day before yesterday, yesterday was suny and cold and today so far is cloudy and cold. Like low 70′s.
Oh, it’s Valentines Day. Happy Valentines Day! My neighbors made it over to the other island with the gift. Hopefully they will deliver it today. It’s just candy and a candle. And a card. The OI Girls Birthday is in February. Very soon, I want to get her an iPod. We’ll be In Costa Rica for her birthday.
I’m kind of depressed, it seems like I’m not going to have as much money to take with me as I wanted to. Money seems to be going out too fast.

Bad dream

Yesterday evening I talked to a friend of mine. Today is his 18th wedding anniversary. I was best man at his wedding. 18 years seems like a long time when you say it. But it doesn’t feel like a long time.
Also he was telling me about how he came to visit me when I lived in the US. I don’t remember that at all. He described where I was living, where I worked, but I don’t remember it a bit. Disturbing.
Then last night I had a dream I lost my wallet. That’s how the dream started. I was at a restaurant (with my parents?) and realized my wallet was gone. Impossible, because I just had it a minute ago. So I started backtracking, looking for it. I ran into a girl at work’s boyfriend, he said we were at this bar last night, maybe it was there. So we go to this bar. (It’s daytime in the dream.) There in the bar parking lot is my car. Oh shit. I don’t remember a thing.
It turns out I had gotten drunk as hell in my dream, made out with this guys girlfriend, lost my wallet and my car. (I noticed the wallet missing, but not the car) and didn’t remember any of it. Except I DO remember making out with the girl, that was the good part!
I was glad to wake up this morning, find my wallet on the dresser, and to realize it was all just a dream. But it’s very distressing not to remember my friends visit. It’s like a week (or weekend, or however long it was) lost from my life. I still drank back then, I imagine that plays a large part in why I don’t remember. (Just so you know, I quit drinking (and drugs) over 15 years ago.)

Here today it is very cold, we had a cold front move through yesterday afternoon. My neighbors are going to the other island for valentines day and they were going to deliver my valentines day gift to the OI Girl, but the flights might be cancelled.

Mundane Morning

Sunday for you, Mundane for me. I’m getting ready to go to work. Hopefully I’ll be out ot there before it gets too late. I know I start at 10Am and don’t know what time I get done.

Yesterday was a great day, the sky was deep deep blue and the sun was hot hot hot!! Yesterday evening everyone was in a good mood with sunglasses suntan lines. I went for a walk with a friend on the north side of the island. It is one of the least deveolped spots. Here’s a beach with nothing built on it. Someday there won’t be any beaches like this left.


After today, only 4 workdays till Costa Rica!

entire contents of my brain

I’ve had this blank window open for quite a while and can’t think of a thing to post. Nothing worth posting, anyway.
I guess all the ants are gone, it was kind of weird. I found what looked like the beginnings of a colony inside the toilet tank. I washed them away, now it seems all the ants are dead. There’s dead ants everywhere, all over the floor, on the counters (I already cleaned it up, goes without saying) and all along the trail they were using. It seems like they just died at once and fell where they were. Freeky.
I’ve officialy started packing for Costa Rica. I put one pair of pants in my suitcase. That’s it for today, wouldn’t want to strain myself or anything. Also I loaded the Costa Rica maps in a little GPS I have.
That’s it, the entire contents of my brain in a couple paragraghs. There isn’t anything else in here. here.. herehere….
Except an echo

Thru Another

It looks like I’ll make it through another week. I’m working Sunday for a while though, but one week from today, The OI Girl and I depart for Costa Rica! I am pretty excited. I have to pack, I plan on fitting it all in one carry-on bag.
we had another cold front move through yesterday. This morning was clear and cold. The Sun’ll warm things up though.I hope it stays sunny!
I was talking to a friend last night and he was telling me that he just got his house payed off and just had his first paycheck in over 15 years without a mortgage payment or rent coming out of it. Now his wife wants a divorce. He and his wife have never gotten along since I’ve known him. She apparently waited till the house was payed off for some reason. I’m glad I’m divorced. My ex wanted a pre nuptuial aggreement. She had money from a house she owned and I had (still have) a house that’s rented out. Then the whole time we were married, she spent more than I was making, and was constantly complaining about not having money, and trying to get me to sell the house. Did I mention that she had to have a couple facials and massages every week? Her engagement ring costed $9000 and she complained it wasn’t $10000. I literally went 6 months without even buying a Coke because of her outrageous spending. And I was soo stressed..
Anyway, talking to my friend made me realize how lucky I am. All my problems are minute by comparison. My problems are big things like “I wanna go diving!” “It’s cloudy and I wanna go to the beach!” “I have to work this weekend”
I’m really lucky. Now I hope I haven’t jinxed myself.

Ant War

Remember I posted that one of the reasons I knew spring was coming because I had ants? They’ve been getting worse and worse. Last night I noticed a few in the bathroom, this morning was a whole stream. I found they were apparently planning on building a nest in the toilet tank. I annihilated them. Now it’s war. All ants must die. I am posting it here, official notice: all ants out by the time I get home tonight or die!
I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. I think the new dentist will be OK. And he fixed both fillings.
This morning for the dawg walk there was some big clouds with clear in between, so maybe I’ll make it for a beach lunch today.
Thanks for all the comments yesterday too.