They’re sending my Dad back to the nursing home today. The effort from now on is to make him comfortable more than prolong his life. He seems very uncomfortable in the hospital.

I was holding his hand and he feels around someone like guessing what an object is while blindfolded. His grip is strong, he still has a lot of strength, but it won’t last. The doctor says he’ll slowly dehydrate because they can only feed and give him water orally, as per his “no life support” instructions. The doctor said there is a blood clot in his heart that is spraying bits into his brain. Yesterday I thought I heard him say “let go” when he was trying to take off his oxygen mask and I was holding his arm back. Yesterday the nurse said he was talking a little. He doesn’t look like he had strokes to me and I’m a little skeptical. But I’ve only been here a couple of days and my Mom has been through it all.

My Mom seems ok but starts crying every once in a while. She seems hyperactive and it makes me feel bad that I get mad at her. For example, I asked about the pool hours and then she just kept going on and on obsessively about me going swimming, till I told her to stop talking about it. Constant little things. My sister is coming Saturday.

I’m going down to Virginia for a couple of days tomorrow. It will be good to see the Ocean, my house and some diving friends.