Bad Headaches

There was this guy, he suffered from terrible headaches, every day, all day. They were so bad, his life consisted only of going from doctor to doctor, looking for a cure.

Finally, he found a doctor who told him he had a very rare medical condition, that his testicles were pressing against the base of his spine, the pressure traveled up his spinal column, and manifested itself as a severe headache.

“Unfortunately”, The doctor told him, “the only cure is castration”.

The guy took a night to think about it, but really, the headaches were that bad, and he went back the next day for the operation.

As he was driving home from the hospital, he reflected that he was starting a new life that day. Not only were the headaches gone for the first time in his life, he was also castrated. His life would be completely different.

About that time he passed a clothing store, and he decided to get a new set of clothes to start his new life with.

“Can I help you?” asked the salesman.
“Well”, said the guy, “I’d like a new set of clothes”

The salesman looked at him, and said “You look like you’re a 33 and three quarter inch waist, and a 34 and a half inch inseam”

“Wow!” said they guy, “That’s exactly right! How did you know?

The salesman smiled and said, “It’s my job”

The guy tried on the pants and they fit perfectly, first time, no tailoring.

The salesman said, “you look like you wear a 17 inch neck size 34 shirt”

Incredible! said the guy, “How do you do it?”

The salesman said, “It’s my job”

And so it went, new hat, new shoes, socks, jacket and vest. Everything the salesman estimated by looking fit perfectly, and nothing had to be tailored.

The guy was at the checkout counter, and the salesman asked “How about a new package of underwear to go with all this?”

The guy said “Sure, why not!?”

The salesman looked at him and said “You look like you wear a 34 inch waist underwear”

The guy said “Nope! Got you there! I’ve been wearing 32’s my whole life!”

“What?” stammered the salesman, “why, that’s impossible. Size 32 would press your testicles against the base of your spine and cause severe headaches!”

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