But I’m Not

Last night, I was lying in bed. I thought I was awake, but part of me knew that I wasn’t. I was trying to do simple three count in three count out breathing and couldn’t do it. It was very difficult. I was trying to NOT think about Daisy and the dog across the street but I could not.

I often wonder why I think I’m awake all night but my sleep monitor shows me as being asleep. It’s because even though I’m asleep, I’m aware. I cannot fully control my thoughts in this state. Counting 1 2 3 was very difficult and I kept making mistakes. Breathing was difficult along with the count. It is a bizarre sensation/state of mind.

and now I’m off to work. I think it’s payday but it might be tomorrow

Have a great day!