Last night was a strange one, went to bed early, and got up about 10 minutes till midnight before the fireworks started.

The wife’s in quarantine, and I went downstairs and sat in the yard about 20 feet from her door and we talked through the screen. She was doing some type of virtual NYE party on the computer, and was having fun, dancing and jumping around. She knew I was coming, but before she saw me outside, I had about 5 minutes, watching her.

I was thinking about my Father In Law, Manrique, who recently passed away. The first new years without him. I really got along with him and miss him. I was thinking of New Years Eves past, the last two, we went tp Cobalt Coast Resort, where they had fireworks at 9PM, and before that, big parties on the sundeck roof of our house. The New Years Eve when Ditto our dog, navigated the spiral staircase for the first time, aftaid of the fireworks and wanting to be with me. No dog has ever come up those stairs except Ditto.

I was remembering a New Years Eve in my car in Hawaii, when I was in the Navy, telling my date, “Shove that bottle under the seat and I don’t care if you spill it” as we pulled up to a police roadblock. She and couple in the back apparently unaware that we were slowing down at a whole bunch of police lights flashing. (We didn’t get busted, luckily).

Every year, we add a number, and one by one, they don’t make much difference (Nothing Changes, New Years Day) but they add up over time. Like birthdays. Next day, everything seems the same, but they accumulate and nobody seems to notice.

I noticed last night. Wondering if my wife and I will still both be alive and healthy. Wondering if I’ll still have a job next New Years.

The idea is to stay in the now, not worrying about the past or future. I’m pretty good at it most of the time.

Sitting in the back yard last night, thinking about the past and future, watching my wife dance through the screen door I thought, “I’m never that joyous and happy, I don’t have the capability to be like that.” and I realize there’s “angles” I’ve never thought about, things I cannot concieve. I felt an awareness of what I’m unaware of.

May you have a happy 2021, healthy, happy, prosperous with clear, accurate thinking.