True Lies

I’m going to tell you two stories, both I told a lot when I was younger, neither have I told for probably 20 years at least.

STORY ONE: The Hole In One.

When I was a teenager in school, I used to play golf. Hole 8 was a short par three. The tee was at the top of one hill, the green was at the top of another.  The hole was heavily wooded, with big oak trees mostly. There was a considerable “valley” in between, and it was kinda a long walk, but the tee and the green were pretty close together. If you missed the green, you were probably in trouble, all around, it was very “woodsey”.

One day, I teed off, and the ball went way high, it was headed over the green into the rough beyond. But it hit this giant oak, bounced onto the green, bounced a couple of times, and rolled straight into the hole!

STORY TWO: The Bicycle Ride.

On another day, as a teen or pre-teen, I was riding my bicycle, really really slow, talking to somebody walking on the sidewalk, and I ran into a parked car. I didn’t get hurt, just sorta fell off the front of the seat and landed on my feet. I made a tiny dent in the bumper of the car. 

There was an old man, sitting on his porch across the street, he called out, “How stupid can you get!” It was funny.


I’ve told these stories so many times, I remember both clearly. I remember the golf swing and the feel of the hit, the sound, seeing the golf ball fly, and the “oh shit” feeling as it took off. I can still see it hit the tree way up high and bounce and roll. I remember the leaves and a few little branches on the green. I remember not making a big deal of it, because of the people I was with, kinda mad at me, because I was a real crappy golfer and everyone always got mad if I beat them, even on one hole. I didn’t deserve a hole in one. Nobody mentioned it when we got back to the clubhouse.

I remember the dent in the cars bumper, the weather, it was fall, cloudy with white light ad cool. Like it had rained earlier, but quit. The person I was talking to had on a wool red and black and brown plaid lumberjack shirt. I remember everything perfectly.

Except in both cases, I don’t remember who I was with. And I wonder in my head if either really happened. I think they did, but I have a doubt. Could they be stories of a little kid, told to be cool and funny and brag? I honestly don’t know. Over the years, doubt has crept in, and I’m not sure anymore.

They could be lies, and as a grown up, I don’t want to tell lies. I don’t know if either is real. Something is going on in my brain. I don’t tell anybody these two stories anymore.


This morning, I noticed a crack in the screen of my tablet. I don’t know when it happened, I’ve dropped it exactly once, it fell off the bed when I got up for something. The crack is invisible, except from this angle.

It works fine, on both sides of the crack, so I guess I’ll just live with it, but it’s disappointing.

My wife broke her new phone a few weeks ago, now my new tablet is cracked, is Samsung making them cheaper? Nothing but Gorilla Glass for me from now on.

AND yesterday, I broke my tooth off at the gumline. Next-to-the-back lower right molar. I was eating a Kirkland protein bar. No pain, it just got crunchy and my tooth was gone afterwards. I thought it was something in the protein bar and threw the chunks in the garbage. So a trip to the dentist is in my near future. I doubt it can be fixed, there’s nothing left to fill.

On a different note, IT’S FRIDAY! Yesterday, I rode my scooter, and it rained, super hard from the time I got to work till just before time to go home. I didn’t get rained on, but I was trapped at work during lunch hour. Today I have the van, and it’s beach, rain or shine!

Have a great weekend!

5 thoughts on “True Lies

  1. I bet you most of us have a story that we tell and embellish over the years Mark, they were good stories, I enjoyed the details ouch, good luck with your tooth, I hate when that happens! Enjoy your weekend ✨

  2. I know exactly what you mean but I think there is at least a kernel of substance in such memories. Bad luck about the screen. My previous phone had a glass back and I did break that twice but never a screen. Dentist hey. What fun!

  3. I’m sure your ‘stories’ are real… time just distorts our memories. Bugger about the screen… my phone screen protector has a crack right through it too. Can be removed but I can’t be bothered. Teeth… OMG don’t even talk to me about them! I’ve spent thousands this year and still have toothache!

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