Category Archives: Humor

Train Driver

Posted on by

There was a guy in a long defunct country called Delgiun who drove trains for a living. He loved his job, he wanted to drive trains since he was a little boy. He liked pressing the trains for speed.

One day he wrecked a train because of going too fast and killed one person. He went on trial for murder and was given a death sentence.

For his final meal, he asked for one banana. He ate the banana, got hooked into the electric chair and the switch was pulled. Sparks flew and the room filled with smoke, but the train driver was unharmed.

According to Delgiun law at that time, surviving an execution was considered divine providence and the man was set free.

He ended up getting his old job back. Unfortunately, not too much later, he wrecked another train and two people were killed. Again he was tried for murder and sentenced to death. For his last meal. He requested two bananas.

He ate the two bananas, got hooked into the electric chair and the switch was pulled. Sparks flew and the room filled with smoke, again, the train driver was unharmed.

Divine providence again. He was set free and ended up again getting his old job back, driving trains. Unfortunately, he didn’t learn his lesson and soon wrecked a third train, killing three people. He was again given a death sentence.

For his final meal he requested three bananas. The executioner refused, and against protocol, without a final meal, the train driver was strapped to the electric chair, the switch was pulled, sparks flew and the room filled up with smoke, but again the train driver was unharmed.

The executioner was speechless, the train driver saw this and said, “the bananas had nothing to do with it, I’m just a poor conductor!”

happy Friday!

Eclipse Day

Posted on by

Today is a big day, there’s a total eclipse across much of the USA. Down here we only get a little corner of the eclipse. But it will still be pretty cool. I’m just going to hang out here for the next total SOLAR eclipse in Grand Cayman.

Only 108 years and 65 days to go!

4 Day Weekend

Posted on by

Day one of the four day weekend starts with dick clouds and strong winds, and no rain. It is not going to rain no matter what, Seems like.

I’m still seeing a counselor about my divorce. But it not really about the divorce anymore.. My counselor said yesterday that my self-loathing undoes the therapy in between sessions. I recommended a lobotomy. Ha ha!

Have a great weekend!

Wasted Fifty

Posted on by

Have a programable light switch .that died. I looked at it, 15 years old burnt out spots on the display, no lights no power, seemed dead.

I went out and bought another one. It cost $50.50. I was looking at the new switch and saw a reset button on the front. “Hmmm wonder if my old one has a reset button. Sure enough, it did. I pressed it and vrooooooooom! The switch powered up, I programmed it and it’s been working great!

I couldn’t find the receipt to take the new one back. So now I’m happy to have have a spare $50 light switch.

Happy Friday ! Have a great day and an even better weekend!

Morning Brain Reset

Posted on by

I’m not sure I recognize the symptoms of being tired. Sure, I recognize sleepiness, but tiredness, and the symptoms like crabbiness and brain malfunction (having to reread something two or three times to get the message for example), I don’t attribute to you being tired. I think more along the lines that it’s the end of the world.

I don’t really think it’s the end of the world, but I don’t consider that it’s a temporary condition cured by a night of good relaxing sleep. At which I am, as you know, an expert.. Ha!

Even if I’m not a good sleeper, my brain seems to reset overnight and I feel better in the morning once I get up and get going.

that’s my sleep talk for today, happy hump day!

Note To Self

Posted on by

Note to self for next trip out of the tropics. BETTER TO HAVE CLOTHES TOO WARM THAN NOT WARM ENOUGH!

Even their warm days are too cold for me. I brought sweatshirts and a jacket but I need more sweatshirts and jackets!

Sunrise from the great white north.

Have a great day!

Zoom Workers, Back To The Office!

Posted on by

Zoom, the company that makes it possible for you to work from home, has just now ordered its staff back to the office. Read the article here.

I find it amazing that people are still working from home, leftover from the covid days. I think I missed three days waiting for my letter stating that I was an essential employee, and never got to work from home. It would be nice to be able to work from home, but the concept still seems alien to me.

In fact, I’m heading out to work right now, in person!

I Don’t Have Time For This

Posted on by

Here comes Bret. Supposed to fizzle out before getting here (iffee gets here at all) but I’m getting ready, pruning trees. I majorly trimmed the Otaheite Apple tree yesterday, i don’t want it to come down. Below is an after and before shot. And I put the tripod on.

I would have trimmed her thinner, but she’s full of fruit. I tried to not cut any branches with fruit, but accidentally cut one with 3 pale white Otaheite apples on it. I put them near the trunk as fertilizer.

But listen, i didn’t schedule any time this season for hurricanes., So let’s just skip it this year and move on. Ok? OK!

AND: FYI, the summer solstice is at 10:57 AM our time. The sun reaches its northernmost point, over the tropic of Cancer for a brief second. After that moment, the sun starts heading back south to the tropic of Capricorn.

Have a wonderful day!