Last night we watched the movie “A Christmas Story” It wasn’t bad, but it did occur to me that it could have been a much better movie, if they had added a couple characters and a scene or two. They should have added a character, the kids aunt. Have her come over to visit. She could be using her married name, Sarah Connor. Bring her in the movie early, have her constantly bitching and moaning about her divorce, make the audience (and her family) hate her. Make her a real bitchy, pain in the ass. Then, out out of the blue, have Arnold Schwarzenegger come knock on the door. Boom Booom Boom! Sarah answers the door, “Sawah Connah?” asks Arnold, the Terminator Robot. “Why yes!” answers Sarah. BLAM BLAM BLAM! Arnold pumps about a hundred rounds into her, she flies across the room, blood and guts everywhere! Arnold walks back to his Harley, flips his shotgun into its holster, and rides off. Just like when he offs the first Sarah Connor in the first Terminator movie.
Then the movie could continue on as it does, without loosing anything! That scene would integrate seamlessly, and it would make ‘A Christmas Story’ a much better movie.
Then they could bury the aunt in the backyard, next to that cool frikkin’ lamp.
