My visitors leave today, I am quite sad about it. It was a very short trip.
Erica, me, Jessika
Yesterday was so rainy, we could barely make it outside. But we had a two meal day consisting of a late big breakfast and and a late big lunch.
The highlight of the trip, I suppose, was Jessika taking the intro to scuba class at Don Fosters.
I am so sad to see them go. My life is forever enriched, seeing Jessika again. She was born (with her twin sister, Veronika) on the day I got out of the Navy. I wish they were my daughters.
Tomorrow it’s back to work for me. This morning my weigh in was 163.8, pounds an alarming new record low weight.
my back’s been hurting for the past few days, it’s happened before, but this time it’s lasted longer. I think I re-hurt it doing curls with 12 lb dumbbells.The first time I hurt it, I was in my 20s, cleaning out under my coffee table. I had a stack of magazines and was sitting cross-legged on the floor. I leaned forward to you the magazines on the shelf under the coffee table and “chink!”, I hurt my back. It was like the arch went out of my spine. From my shoulders to my butt was a straight line, no curve. I could relax and get everything to settle back down, but it has occasionally happened since then and this time seems worse…
It came with a playlist I downloaded for my phone.
I like it quite a bit. It is said that MTV killed rock n roll and I don’t know, but the new artists don’t seem to play any instruments or have any musicians on stage.
My blood pressure checkup went well, I will find about my blood composition today.
Today I am going to the dentist to get a tooth 🦷 pulled and hopefully the titanium for another implant. I thought I lost a filling, and I did, but it’s because the tooth split in half front to back. Then I’m getting an ultrasound to look at my kidneys because of my high blood pressure.
Also, Michael Lee Aday, better known as Meat Loaf, has died
Paradise By The Dashboard Lights was one of my favorites.
On a more positive note, I’m taking the day off today and should have all my “requirements met by 1 PM. And it’s a long weekend, Monday is a holiday!
I’ve been taking blood pressure medicine for many years. First it was Lisinopril, which I never thought worked too well. Then, in April, I switched to candesartin plus, and it was working beautifully. My BP was good from April thru November.
in December, I went to the eye doctor, and it was high. After several consistently high readings, I went to the doctor who basically doubled my dosage. (And took other tests) The double dosage had zero effect on my BP. None.
So now I’m getting more tests, and my medicine has been changed to telmisartin and amlodipine.
But the doc and I agree, the high BP is a symptom of another problem, and we need to figure out what it is.
I feel fine, and I think it’s fortunate that I’m even aware of the problem. I just want to get it behind me.
i was in bed last night and I moved my leg and it was stuck to the sheets. I felt down and there was sticky stuff below my knee. I had been bleeding from some cut or poke on my leg. I don’t know what happened. Maybe riding my bike or maybe I just bumped into something. But I had to change the sheets and do laundry at 10:30 last night. (I figured it would wash out better if washed immediately)
I slept good, I never heard the washing machine, woke up and it was done, put the stuff in the dryer, never hard a thing, woke up and it was done. Perfect!
And here’s a cat pic for you, Goldie, sleeping in the motorcycle.
Above is a nice daily thought. It was sent to me by a friend in Jamaica. I don’t know what book it’s from.
Since my (now ex) wife left, I wake up exhausted every morning. In sleep, I cannot control my thoughts and it is torturous. This morning I woke up by sitting bolt upright, gasping for breath. I don’t remember what was going through my head that woke me up. Apparently I couldn’t breathe.
In the daytime, when I catch my “negative chatter”, I can stop it. The hard part is being aware of it.
Every night, I go to bed, 9:30 or 10, and pass out immediately. Then I wake up at midnight or one and after that it seems I have nightmares all night and am aware but somehow asleep. I spend the night wrestling to regain control of my mind. Among other things, I say terrible things about myself, the part of me knowing it’s not true struggling but unable to speak up in my defense. I also remember dreaming in screams, no words, no video, no humanness, nothing that is me, just “aaaaaahhhhhhh!” Screaming like an animal in my head, over and over.
this is sleeping in general, not just last night.
After a long night, my alarm goes off at 5 till 5, but I’m usually awake already, totally exhausted. Then I find myself in this beautiful tropical paradise and tell myself “the bad things are only in your head”. And it’s true. Then I spend the day trying to recover from sleeping by reading things like the page in the image above. And being my own cheerleader, the sane me telling the insane me “it’s gonna be alright”.
By the time I get feeling ok, it’s time for bed again…
Yes, I’m in counseling and yes, I’m doing everything I can think of to do. Someone told me it takes one month to recover for every year we were together. In that case, it’s going to be a long 15 months.
I’m going diving today. Have a good day. And night!
Back in April, the doctor changed my blood pressure medication. It was working great for several months. My BP was spot-on for so long that I quit checking it regularly.
It recently got checked at the eye doctors, and was high way high. I started checking more often and it was always high. Somehow, suddenly, my blood pressure went back up, higher than before.
So I went to the doctors yesterday and the medication has been increased, and I have instructions to log my pressure twice a day.
I’m ready for some flat, smooth straight driving road for a while. I’m tired of this constant one bad thing after another. Divorce, glaucoma, cateracts, finiances, blood pressure. Can I just have a little easy time?
It is not my intention to be a cry baby. But I go to bed every night about 9:30 or 10:30, then I wake up at about midnight or one and I’m aware the rest of the night. I’m aware, but not really awake. During the time between wake up and the alarm clock going off, I’m trapped in a sea of negativity. I’m aware of it and I’m trying to pull myself out of it but I cannot.
I wake up in the morning exhausted and feeling like crap. The best thing I can do is tell myself it is all in my head and enjoy the here and now, the dog walk and exercise and the tropical paradise in which I live.
I have pretty good days, work, beach, swimming. I feel good mentally most of the day. But those are some long hours from the middle of the night until morning.
I don’t want this blog to be a bitch session or cry baby central, but I do want to remember what’s going on in my head for future reference sometimes.
Maybe somebody can relate to what I’m saying and know they’re not alone. Because those long nights are lonely and painful.
But like I said, after I wake up and get going things are OK.
Today is my Friday, tomorrow is a use it or lose it mate or lose it vacation day. I am looking forward to a long weekend again. It’s going to be hard going back to a 5 day workweek next year!
2 weeks ago, I was diagnosed with glaucoma. The pressure in my eyeballs was 36 and 52. The doctor gave me eye drops and pills and after a week the pressure had dropped to 21 in both eyes. 21 is considered the maximum normal eyeball pressure level.
Then for troubleshooting purposes he took me off the pills and I was just taking the eye drops, I expected the pressure to go up. Miraculously it didn’t. Yesterday my pressure was 15 in one eye and 17 in the other which is quite good and I am very pleased. The doctor was very pleased too.
I consider this a miracle, I was ready to get laser surgery but didn’t need it. Now if I could just repair my damaged optic nerve.
